Planet of Doofuses

"Beware of wolves who come to you in sheep's clothing.
You will know them by the fruit they bear.
A good tree cannot bear bad fruit,
nor can a bad tree bear good fruit."

If I had the power, I might rename the earth, "Doofus." Now that I think about it, I do have the power, but it's only in my imagination, so the name change will stay there and no place else.

I wonder if the plural of "doofus" is "doofuses" or "doofi"? I like "doofuses" myself; it sounds more accurate. And what exactly is the correct definition of "doofus"? To me it means "lovable moron." It's what you call someone who is an amiable klutz. You look at them and shake your head.

I'd like to rename the earth "Doofus" because the whole world is full of lovable morons. Mostly. Unfortunately I'm included, although I like to think I'm a lovable semi-moron. It could be worse. I could be one of those retarded monkey-people running the elevators in Brave New World. Although if I had to be a monkey, I'd rather be one of the flying ones in The Wizard of Oz, even if I had to dress like a bellhop.

If the world wasn't full of imperfect lovable morons, it wouldn't be in the shape it's in, with one step back for every two steps forward. It wouldn't be in the shape it's always been in. Religion is right: people are imperfect. Fallen.

One of the reason people are doofuses is because they follow the wrong people. I could quote Dostoevsky or Shakespeare to buttress my argument, but I won't. As is my wont, I'll use cartoons as an example, since I spend more time watching them than reading Richard III.

There is an archetype in cartoons I call the "would-be world conqueror." Examples? Marvin the Martian. Brain, of Pinky fame. Simon bar Sinister from the Underdog show.

Here's where things get scary. All of them have what I call an "amiable but stupid sidekick." Marvin has his robot dog. Brain has Pinky. And Simon has Cad, who can do little more than say, "Duh...okay, boss!"

On the other hand, heroes almost never have sidekicks, and when they do, they're not stupid. Did Underdog have a sidekick? Superman? Batman had Robin, but Robin never said, "Duh...okay, boss!"

The problem with the would-be world conquerors is grandiosity and hubris, which are the same thing and, in my opinion, the worst of the inborn imperfections in humanity. These conquerors always want to be God, like Satan did. And they always want to be worshipped, like Satan did. All you have to do is look at real-life nutcases like Herod or Nero or Caligula. Caligula went so far in his nuthood as to declare himself a god.

These days we have a president who claims God has chosen him, and that He talks to him. The difference between his imperfections and those rulers who were much worse is not one of kind, but only of degree. Grandiosity and hubris are a slippery slope, and those afflicted with them almost never know it.

What do these cartoon characters tell us? Something really very disturbing. Anyone who wants to conquer the world is never going to have a shortage of misguided - indeed self-deluded - people to follow them. It's not a case of one Brain and one Pinky; it's one Brain and several hundred thousand, if not millions, of Pinkys.

For good or bad, we are herd animals, social and imitative. As such, we play follow the leaders. Some researchers understand this; it's why the one of the most firmly established principles (especially in propaganda) is for the masses of people to look to a leader to solve their problems.

Or, as Robert Higgs so eloquently expanded on it: "An adequate answer might fill a volume, but some elements of that answer can be sketched briefly. The essential components are autocratic government, favorably disposed mass culture, public ignorance and misplaced trust, compliant mass media and political exploitation for personal and institutional advantage."

Many people may not take cartoons seriously, but I do. Cartoons are just modern-day myths; good ones are just as accurate as any ancient myth, because they tell the same stories and same truths, just dressed in modern clothes. Marvin the Martian is just an animated version of Ares, the Greek God of War. Brain, in his own way, is just as loony as Satan.

If you think it isn't true that wackos who wants to conquer the world will never have a shortage of goofballs to follow them, ask yourself how many people said "no thanks" to Hitler and Stalin? More German and Russian soldiers died at the Battle of Stalingrad than all of America's wars combined. Had I been there, I would have snuck away. If I could. I wouldn't die for Brain or Marvin the Martian, or any demented human acting like them.

The real heroes never have doofus sidekicks because they don't want anyone slavishly obeying them. Only people who desire to conquer want slaves. The real heroes, whether in cartoons, or old myths, or in real life, want people to be free, and to be responsible for themselves. Even it if means not wearing a seatbelt.

When Superman said he was defending, "Truth, justice and the American way," he wasn't asking for anyone to say, "Duh...okay, boss!" to him or anyone else.

Eric von Kuehnelt-Leddihn, in his book, Leftism Revisited, understood what knuckleheads many people are. He also understood why an earth full of doofuses follow the people who lead them to their deaths. The reason, he wrote, is because the "Children of Darkness are more clever than the Children of Light."

What Kuehnelt-Leddihn wrote is true. Many people are more liable to follow someone evil than someone good, as long as those who are evil "hide from the light" and pretend to be good. That's why the Children of Darkness are more clever than the Children of Light. Because evil always disguises itself as good. Worse, it appears better that simple good, because it promises so much more.

Marvin's dog, and Pinky, and Cad, are a bunch of sleepwalking dimbulbs who can't tell the difference between good and evil. All three are just symbols of the human race in general. Amiable but stupid. Lovable morons. Doofuses.

The heroes, the Children of Light, always demand that people take responsibility for themselves. The Children of Darkness always tell people it's not their fault; it's someone else's. And when those supposedly at fault are gotten rid of, then peace and justice will reign. It never happens, though, because the fault lies in ourselves.

If you want to look at it from a Christian viewpoint, it was Satan who blamed his problems on everyone else, and who wanted to rule. And it was Jesus, who when he was offered political power over the kingdoms of the world if he would just worship a deluded and incompetent buffoon, declined. He also suggested people change their own "hearts and minds," instead of trying to force others to do so.

The Children of Darkness - not only in the past, but now - promise glory and grandiosity and political power over the kingdoms of the world. It always ends up in death and destruction, as hubris always does. One of the reasons - maybe the main one - is that ultimately the Children of Darkness are incompetent. Nemesis is always the penalty for hubris. Brain and Simon and Marvin always fail. Brain usually conked his head and staggered around dazed. Marvin sometimes even disintegrated himself, although, like Ares, he was always resurrected.

What lessons from all of the above can we find for today? Well. . .we have people in the administration who are "hiding from the light" and not telling people the truth. They are trying to conquer a large chunk of the world, and promising honor and glory. Even though one only has to look at the story of Jesus refusing political power over the kingdoms of the world, a lot of doofuses still believe the Children of Darkness and are following them, even though they're incompetent and will fail.

Even something as simple as children's cartoons are telling us these would-be world conquerors are bound to fail. Not at all surprisingly, as the plans of these conquerer-wannabees unravel, they're rapidly failing, although in their self-delusion and hubris they can't admit it to anyone, including themselves. Unfortunately, there are still a lot of Pinkys and Cads who still haven't opened their eyes. Until they do, they will remain doofuses.